II of 10
Behaviour is Communication
Every behaviour says something. Our job is to learn the language.
3 min read
Read this slowly
Children communicate all day long. Only some of it arrives in words.
The idea
Every behaviour is an attempt to solve a problem.
Sometimes it's asking for connection. Sometimes it's escaping something that feels overwhelming. Sometimes it's protecting dignity. Sometimes it's saying, “I can't do this yet.”
Behaviour isn't random. It makes sense to the child, even when it doesn't make sense to us.
When we ask, “What might this be communicating?” we stop reacting to behaviour and start responding to children.
Why this matters
If behaviour is communication, consequences alone rarely solve the problem.
A child whose behaviour comes from anxiety needs different support than a child who is overwhelmed, impulsive or dysregulated.
The behaviour may look the same. The reason underneath rarely is.
In the classroom
A student constantly calls out.
It might look like attention-seeking. It might actually be excitement, impulsivity or anxiety about forgetting.
The behaviour stays the same. Your understanding changes.
Read this slowly
Don't ask how to stop the behaviour. Ask what the behaviour is trying to achieve.
Take this with you
The behaviour is the message. Listen before you lead.